Karen, I'm so glad! It's nice to hear some good news once in a while!

Sometimes, when Ron is delusional or sees hallucinations, I wonder if maybe he is seeing into another world that is real and we are just not able to see "then".... maybe an alternate universe..... am I completely weird to think this? I don't question it.... I ask him about it.... he explains what he is seeing and I am okay with it..... that is until it becomes night "hallucinations" from sleep disorder that are just crazy dreams..... thanks, Cheryl

Cheryl, you mean there really might BE twenty people living in our house, only I can't see them? No wonder I can't keep the carpets clean!

Leone, all I can say is, there will come a day when he CAN'T put his shoes on, his socks on, or dress himself at all. My advice is, no matter how frustrating some of the things he does now are, please be glad he can do a lot of things for himself. Once they are bedridden and cannot do anything but open their mouth, try to swallow, and lift one hand a little from the elbow down, you'll think of today as "the good old days". That is all my dad was able to do for the past few months. I hope your husband maintains a lot of his physical ability till the end. Lynn

Reading your posts Leone has made me realize what mum was possibly trying to handle at home before dad was placed in the ALF. Dale sounds very much like dad was still pretty mobile but the constant story telling about his world drove mum mad especially with a house full of children to boot! You have made me be more compassionate to mums cause though it has been hard at times I will admit.I can't say I know what she was going through 100% I wasn't there but I am slowly becoming able to remain open to both their needs and give them support and love.

I can only imagine how draining the mind games are when you are taking care of your LO at home. When my dad would get really irritated because he'd be thinking something delusional and I'd try not to argue with him, but I also couldn't do what he wanted or agree with him, I could just say "see you tomorrow dad" and walk out and drive home. When you are living there you can't do that. I don't know how you all cope as well as you do.
My dad would say "why are these women always coming in here looking at my butt?" And I'd say "they need to check your pressure sore and make sure it is healing, or putting med. on it so it gets better." Then he'd get furious and tell me he didn't have a pressure sore. Then he'd ask me the same question again and again. So, then I'd say "I can't answer your question because you don't like the answer." He'd get mad again. Finally I learned to say "because you have such a cute butt." Then he'd laugh and that would be the end of the conversation.
Is there some way you can turn a ridiculous, irrational conversation into something humorous? I know all of this takes an incredible amount of energy, but we'd both feel better when we laughed. (not that that always worked, but it did help relieve the tension many times.)
Hope you all get a good night's sleep. Lynn

To me, the roller coaster analogy seems to fit very well. Even while we are chugging slowly to the top, my body and soul are clenched in anticipation of that fast drop, where the bottom falls out from under us. The main difference is, I love real roller coasters. I don't love Lewy.

Yes, the rollercoaster analogy is perfect. I never know what to expect when I call or visit my mother. Lately, things have been pretty negative so that's what I am prepared for, and then sometimes it is surprisingly positive. Mostly, I try to hope for the best but things can suddenly go south. Like yesterday, I called and reminded her that today we are going to her orthopedist to get injections in her knees. This is something she has been asking and asking about, because the injections do help but she can only have them every six months (and amazingly the shots themselves don't bother her at all). So of course I was expecting her to be glad we are going. Well, surprise, she was peevish about it to the point where I asked her if she wanted me to cancel. Geez. I should be asleep now, but apprehension about this trip tomorrow (an hour each way) is keeping me up. So many nights I am up late, upset about one thing or another that is going on with her.

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time mourning the loss of the mother I knew and trying to adjust to this new person. Really, she is so alien to me now, and she is still so angry at me for her NH admission. It is a struggle to find any joy, so the only thing that works is to remember the old Mother and do things for her sake. We're coming up on a year since her diagnosis. It seems like much, much longer and I think we are nowhere near the end of the road. Talk about the long goodbye!

Julianne

Leone, You're not alone and in time you will just let it roll off your back. Frank and I would be riding in the car and if he saw my brother, one of my affairs, go by he'd say there she is again, she with him and didn't even try to hide. I'd say I'm here so "Gerry" cannot be with him?????? He accused me of playing mind games and it was my fault that he was having this problem. That was several years ago, I'm numb to all that.

Hang in there, I know there are times that we'd all love to place our LO, but we keep on truckin and hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Take care, Gerry